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Notable quotes
This page features notable quotes from London's Burning episodes. Movie " Blue Watch are getting ready for Roll call" :Tate: Call the Roll :Hallam: Blue Watch Blue Watch Shunt. Called your names. Leading Fireman Cross? :Malcolm: Yes sir! :Hallam: Fireman Wilson? :Bayleaf: Sir! :Hallam: Fireman Cartwright? :Vaseline: Sir! :Hallam: Fireman Lewis? :Ethnic: Yes Sir! :Hallam: Fireman Quigley? Fireman Quigley? Sicknote I know you here, you do me the honor to answer your name! :Sicknote:I got a toothache sir! I can't talk! :Hallam: Fireman Quigley! :Sicknote: Yes Sir! :Hallam: Fireman Appleby? :Charisma: Sir :Hallam: Fireman Baines? : Rambo: Sir! :Hallam: Blue Watch, Blue Watch stand at ease. Vaseline doesn't want to go to Ethnic's leaving banquet :Vaseline: I'll bring bleedin' sandwiches! :Bayleaf: You've had three wives and 300 fiancees and not one of them has ever so much as buttered you a slice of bread! Josie introduces herself in the dorm :Josie: Okay here we go. 1) I'm not a dyke 2) I'm not a woman's libber 3) I'm not a nymphomaniac and 4) I'm not an alien from outer space. I'm in the job cause I like it. I'm not clever enough to be a nurse or secretary, but two days and two nights a week, I'm bloody good at fighting fires. The rest of the time, I do stuff other women do. Been married for five months, I've been in the Brigade for just over a year. I've been to hundreds of shouts. So you can all behave exactly as normal, whether on shouts, in the station or in your pits. There's only one difference between you and me and that's no doubt what you're holding in your hands under your blankets, so that's only a little difference, ain't it? And sod all to do with putting out fires, unless you piss on them. Good night. An interesting shout :Tate: A curtain ring?! How the hell d'you get a curtain ring stuck on your w-? Get Bayleaf! Series 1 Tate on Mr Malik's antiquated fire regulations :Tate: This geezer's incredible, a right cowboy :George: I thought he was an Indian?! ---- Sicknote is still moaning about missing his Cinderella panto :Sicknote: I suppose you've never seen my Buttons? :Vaseline: I use a zip myself! ---- Series 2 :Julia: It's in the works of Dante, have you read it? :George: Dante? No. Was he a sweeper for AC Milan? ---- George spots Julia :George: Last time I saw a bird like that I was asleep! ---- Bayleaf on Vaseline living with his wife and ex-wife :Bayleaf: You're in what the Frogs call a menage-a-trois :Vaseline: No I told you it's a flat! ---- Vaseline on living with his wife and ex-wife :Vaseline: Marion 3 thinks I'm giving Marion 1 one too! ---- Bayleaf to Josie about the shout to rescue a parrot :Bayleaf: How did it go? :Josie: How did what go? :Bayleaf: The shout. :Josie: Oh, we helped rescue some bird. :Bayleaf: Oh, let me guess, broken love affair, right? :Josie: What? :Bayleaf: Well, nine times out of ten that's what it is, with birds. :Josie: What are you talking about?! :Bayleaf: Women jumpers. :Josie: This wasn't a woman, it was a bird, called Clive! :Bayleaf: What? You mean like a transvestite?! :Josie: No, I mean like a parrot! :Bayleaf: Can we start this conversation again?! ---- Josie enters the dorm soaking wet after the lads tampered with her toilet :Vaseline: What's up Jose? You look a bit flushed! ---- Charisma complaining about Sicknote to Tate :Charisma: If he's not moving things about, he's grinding his teeth. If he's not grinding his teeth, he's worrying that he's getting another ulcer. If he's not worrying he's getting another ulcer, he's waking me up at three o'clock in the morning to tell me his heart's stopped! :Sicknote: My heart did stop! It stopped for several seconds, I had to get out of bed and run on the spot to get it going again! I think that's what's given me this rash! ---- :Malcolm: Ah, Firewoman Ingham. And how dare one ask is your love life? :Josie: Much the same as yours I would imagine, restricted to the odd wet dream! ---- Tate on Scase at the trapped workmen incident :Tate: In my opinion that's the risk we have to take! :Scase: I'm not interest your opinion! :Tate: That bloke's half a pork pie short of a picnic! You know that! :Hallam: Bet do what he says Guv! :Tate: Hold up blue watch they'll deal with this. :Scase: That scaffolding is not secure! If it falls and those men are injured it's on your head! :Mike 'Bayleaf' WilsonBayleaf: You should come down for the paddle sir the waters lovely. Suppose to be a bloody fire and rescue service we should be getting stuck here what's the job about :Sicknote: C'mon Guv :Vaseline:: Aw Guv what we waiting for! :Tate: Permission for the crews to continue the Rescue operation due to the fact the tide is now dangerously close for being completely against us! :Scase: Permission refuse! :Tate: Go and do your jobs lads! :Scase: Mr Tate get those crews away from there. What the hell do you think you doing you suppose to obey your senior officer. :Tate: Now look you might be the senior officer but your inept! We didn't time play by a book. :Scase: You risking lives for the crews. :Tate: The crews are prepare to take that chance. Not prepare to do, is standing like load of ponses waiting for some nutcase tinpot intator is too bloody busy laying paperwork too bloody high and mighty to get stuck getting dirty. To tell them if that blokes die cause of the scaffolding might drop on. Get that thermal image camera down there and double! Fireman 1 Yes Sir! :Tate: Get air bags GO! Fireman 2 Right Guv! :Scase: I'll crusified you for this! :Tate: You do what give you most satisfaction :Scase: I'll have you spat out the service! :Tate: I'm take full responsibility for the actons, the actions for my crews and the conduct for this incident for now on sir! ---- Bulstrode and Scase :Bulstrode: You ever thought of joining a literary circle? :Scase: Oh you mean my form 10 report. :Bulstrode: Oh is that what it is? Strained my sciatic nerve just lugging the bloody thing about! Series 3 Tate learns from Blue Watch about Sandra Hallam finding lipstick on John's y fronts :Hallam: It had nothing to do with no woman guv; Duffy interfered with my underwear! ---- Sicknote is moaning about being served dumplings for lunch :Tate: Put a sock in it Sicknote! :(Everyone falls silent) :Kate: Well, I like them... Wouldn't fancy one of Sicknote's socks in it though! :Sicknote: There's nothing wrong with my feet! :Kevin: No, it's just where you put them! Series 5 "Pump ladder crew return to Blackwall and Malcolm brought a teeth" :Kate: We didn't came away empty handed. :Sicknote: serves them right what you got. :Malcolm: Exterminate Exterminate Exterminate! :Sicknote: Aw get off that's awful! In Nick's office after they stole the Borough Street Station Officer's dentures :Malcolm: We just got our teeth into it! :Maggie: Ere George, your mother-in-law was here earlier. :George: She weren't on fire was she?! Series 6 Pearce, after Billy and Recall have come out of a refrigerated warehouse :Geoff: Look at him, he's blue all over. :Recall: What colour does that make me then?! ---- George on doing roadwork with Billy :George: I'm not running behind your hearse at six in the morning. :Kevin: I should think not George, you'd look like Dracula chasing breakfast! ---- On George having the snip :Bayleaf: A vasectomy, Colin. Do you know what that is? :Colin: Oh yeah, my Auntie Rose had one of them. Cured her ulcer. Have you got an ulcer George? Series 7 "Mick talk to Bayleaf at Borough Street Fire Station start a wind up and start a grab" :Mick: Hey still loose on the streets then Bayleaf? :Bayleaf: Eh? :Mick: Driving. I see there's no dents in this one you getting better mate. :Bayleaf: Yeah maybe you go on funny, I'll put a dent in you If you you like. That be funny wouldn't it. :Bayleaf: Oh Touchy-touchy how funny do you want to get. :Bayleaf: Shut it! :Mick: Come on then! ---- "Shout ring crew rush to appliances" :Nick: What we got Billy :Billy: Smoke at the YO Institute! :Kevin: Its a prison innit? :John: Thats the Young Offenders :Geoff: Young Offenders, Billy going to be home then eh?. ---- After Sicknote reminds Jean that he has played golf before :Jean: That was crazy golf, and I'' won! ---- ''Sicknote and his wig :Sicknote: You can do anything in it, swim, play sports, ride a horse. :Jean: That is good. You couldn't before! :Sicknote: What do you think, taken a few years off me eh? :Jean: Took a few off me when you walked in with it! ---- On a man trapped in a battle tank :Sicknote: We should try to think about what the Army would do in this situation. :Bayleaf: Probably call the Fire Brigade! ---- Sicknote doesn't want to eat take away :Sicknote: I can't just consume any old rubbish. :George: You talk enough of it! ---- "White Watch from Blackwall put out fire on Burger van and George's brother-in-law Lea and Denzel turn up at the scene" :Mike: Tell you what George send you calendar for Christmas or our regular customers get them. :Les: What do them burgers well done did they :George: Oh Don't start :Les: Don't start! George you know how much that van is worth :George: About 30 pounds by the look of it. :Denzil: You Suppose to put fires out not start them George. :Les: Shut up Denzel. Every job you do for me, you end up buy me more money am paying you. :George: I'll don't own you that van. :Les: Oh yes you do it's going on you tab. You disaster area George. Don't know my sister sawing you. :George: Oh you slag! :Denzil: Alright Alight Leave it George. :George: You take your dose and shove it. :Les: I'll have you George you still own me money. :George: Am after you! :Mike: You married to the nice family then George. ---- Bulstrode puts Scase in his place :Bulstrode: I don't suppose you even fart in your bath DO Scase, do you? :Scase: I beg your pardon, sir? :Bulstrode: No need to beg my pardon, I can't wait to see the back of you! :Bulstrode: You could make a beehive look like a bunch of wandering hippies with your managerial mania! ---- "Nick call Jaffa for reinforcement during propane gas cylinder explode and cylinder hit appliance and explode" :Nick: Jaffa! Make pumps 12 :Jaffa: Right Guv :Jaffa: M2FS from ECHO 44... "Jaffa fall off Appliance and cylinder hit windscreen and exploded and Nick Sub Hallam Geoff and Recall saw the appliance up in fire" :Nick: Jaffa! Series 8 On Geoff not being picked for the football team :Sicknote: That's a waste of talent. You could have stabbed them in the back as they ran out! ---- On Geoff's "Poison" nickname :SO Tallis: What's he done to get a name like that? :Nick: Earned it! ---- :Kelly: I thought firemen were supposed to be helpful. :George: That's coppers! ---- John Hallam finds Sicknote's beaded car seat cover in the pump :John: You can't bring this in here! This is a fire engine not a bloody invalid carriage! Now whatever this extraneous intrusion is you'd better get it sorted and get a good night's kip or you'll be out: you and your wooden balls! ---- Hallam is helping a naked man down a ladder :Billy: Sub! :Hallam: What? :Billy: Bit drafty up this passage, innit? :Hallam: Billy, shut it! :Billy: Sub! Sub! :Hallam: What do you want? :Billy: Make sure he don't sit on your helmet! :Hallam: Shut up Billy, will you? Hallam to the same man, after his angry girlfriend tries to attack him for cheating on her :Hallam: Sun's not shining out of your arse today, is it? I can vouch for that! ---- "Ray fell in the tank of Caustic soda in wood yard Geoff radio to John" :Geoff: Sub Sub! :Hallam: What is it Geoff What is it? :Geoff: it's Billy he's fall into the tank of acid! Series 9 Billy to Sicknote, after the chemical incident Blue Watch have been sent to turns out to be a false alarm ::Billy: It's bit like your Shakespeare, innit? Get all dressed up for a pile of crap! ---- Finding a nickname for Skippy :Jack: We had an Australian bloke in the navy. :Billy: What d'ya call him? :Jack: Dave! ---- Skip and Billy discuss Marianne :Skippy: I think Zorba's got in there first mate. :Billy: What's he got that I ain't? :Skippy: Stripes around his helmet? ---- Jack on Pearce taking tea up to the officers :Jack: What do you do, take it in backwards? ---- Blue Watch warn Skip about Carole :George: Make sure she don't molest you, she likes toy boys! :Billy: Well she don't like me! :Sicknote: He said toy not miniature! ---- :Nick: Where's the sub? :Jack: In the multi-gym with Poison. :Nick: Don't call him that, he's lost his dog! ---- :Geoff: I've lost Bruno. :Clingfilm: He's a bit big to lose isn't he? How did you manage that? ---- Jack is about to use the jaws of life to free a cyclist glued to his bike :Luke: What you gonna do with that? :Jack: Cut your handlebars off. :George: And his saddle. He's got some glue on his nuts! Series 11 Jack talking about Dan on a shout :Jack: Once more unto the breach! :Recall: Leave it Jack. :Jack: Look at him, it's all just a big adventure. Series 12 George after learning Hyper's secret :George: He can't be gay, he likes football! Series 13 After it emerges that Blue is pregnant :Adam: How was I to know she was up the duff?! Category:Browse